"Most of us go through life not understanding that we can redefine how we see our 'self' and our life, and that this brings about the external changes we seek."
These words of wisdom are a quote from a new book, "Beyond Self-Esteem: Discovering Your Boundless Self-Worth," by Healdsburg High School graduate Eloisa Ramos of Windsor.
The book, published last year and available on Amazon or through Ramos' website, www.healing-with-eft.com, provides the emotional, psychological and spiritual framework for a tool called Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as EFT or tapping.
EFT is way of tapping along the body's energy pathways to redefine the inner dialogue many of us have about who we are.
As Ramos says in the quote above, changing how we feel and think about ourselves can alter the external reality -- be it toward greater abundance, physical healing or more satisfying relationships.
"The bottom line is that we, as adults, have the power to choose how to see our 'self,'" Ramos writes in the book. "We are the ones that accept and keep the labels and definitions of our self-images."
Ramos, 50, wife of Healdsburg shoe repair shop owner George Ramos, is an EFT Master and an EFT Expert II.
A former Stanford MBA candidate with training in engineering and math, Ramos said she eventually left the scientific, business and corporate world when she was inexplicably pulled by her inner self into exploring other, less concrete studies.
A mother of four, Ramos said she started looking at alternative healing methods 12 years ago when two of her children were suffering with asthma symptoms that were not responding to the use of traditional pharmaceutical inhalers.
She took them to a Santa Rosa chiropractor, who was able to help them using a non-traditional allergy treatment called NAET.
She said she later learned herself how to do a similar body therapy called Natural Healing, which, like NAET, involves rebalancing body sensitivities -- and, once the sensitivies are revealed, sometimes avoiding the triggering substances.
"I found out my youngest was allergic to plastic," she said. "I had to take her out of school."
Ramos then discovered some of the early writings on EFT, then known as TFT, or "Thought Field Therapy." She began to study it, and later added trainings in Reiki energy healing and Bach flower remedies.
As Ramos' childen grew older, she began using her tool kit of therapies to help and support them through the ups and downs of growth and adolescence. She also taught them to use tapping on themselves when they feel anxious or out of sorts.
"It's a wonderful thing, especially for children," Ramos said. "It's so self-empowering; they can feel the difference right away."
Diego Ramos, 22, said his mother's teachings "helped me get through a lot of rough patches" in middle school and in high school.
"In middle school, I used to go to her to help guide me though emotionally," he said. "With EFT, I felt calmer.
"I was able to realize the difference between what's really happening, instead of how we interpret it," he said. "I can get a better picture of what's really happening."
Diego Ramos said EFT also helped him clear allergies to pollen, cats and dogs and his asthma.
"My mom was able to clear the trauma associated with the allergies through EFT," said Diego Ramos, now a student at the California College of the Arts in Oakland. "I'm calmer, more objective."
Diego Ramos, who did the cover design, formatting, editing and uploading on "Beyond Self-Esteem," said he hopes the book will get the word out on EFT so it can help others as it has helped him.
"It's interesting for me to see how clearing our emotional trauma can help elevate everyone around me," Diego Ramos said.
Eloisa Ramos, who now has a wide roster of clients both online through Skype and in person, also uses the technique on herself for such issues as writer's block -- not surprisingly, an issue that came up with the very same book she has now published.
"I realized that in my own thinking, I thought my mind had to come up with some way to present this material," she said. "I didn't know what to do.
"In tapping, I realized that I didn't need to go to myself for the answer," she said. "The hard part was already done -- the book was already written at a higher level.
"I just needed to bring it to manifestation," she said. "It's the same with healing."
Identifying the blocks -- such as unforgiveness, fear or trauma -- is the first step. Once you can see the block, you can use tapping to clear it.
"We really do have control over how we feel," Ramos said.
For more information on Ramos, see www.healing-with-eft.com, or call 707-837-5134.
For the official EFT website by technique founder Gary Craig, see www.emofree.com.
For more links on tapping, see www.thetappingsolution.com.