Love circle: Family, pets help Mandy Miller grieve double tragedy

Relatives of Amanda "Mandy" Miller said Wednesday they are offering around-the-clock love and support to the young woman at her home north of Healdsburg as she copes with two sudden, unimaginable losses.

Since the night of March 8, Mandy Miller, 24, and the arrest and prosecution of her brother Jarrod Miller for her boyfriend's murder.

"I don't really have any words to describe how this feels," said her stepmother Kathi Miller of Santa Rosa. "It's very difficult to see someone as beautiful as Mandy go through so much pain."

Barbi Evans, Mandy Miller's mother, said her daughter is surrounded not only by family and friends but by pets such as dogs, cats, chickens and a teacup "pixie" pig named Wilbur.

"She loves her animals," Evans said. "She sleeps with most of them -- except not the chickens." Evans said her daughter treasures the photos Neuer gave her this past Valentine's Day that featured the happy couple and their pets, and which were inscribed with loving messages.

"She said those were the best presents," Evans said.

Evans and Kathi Miller, along with Kathi Miller's sister Sandy Louke of Montana, made their comments Wednesday at Sonoma County Courthouse in Santa Rosa. They were there to attend a Sonoma County Superior Court hearing for Jarrod Miller, being charge.

Miller has pleaded not guilty to the charge.

In court Wednesday, Sonoma County Superior Court Judge Arthur Wick set Jarrod Miller's preliminary hearing for  9 a.m. on May 19.  Jarrod Miller, who lived in Cloverdale after leaving the house north of Healdsburg he shared with his sister and Neuer, was accompanied by his attorney Joseph Bisbiglia.

Miller confirmed at Wick's request that he was waiving his rights to a speedier preliminary hearing.

along with Deputy District Attorney Scott Jamar, told Wick she would prefer an earlier date, possibly mid-April. Bisbiglia said he needed extra time to examine reports.

Wick said May 19 would be the earliest available time.

"There's a lot of emotion," Ravitch said, in commenting on the case after the brief court proceeding. "You have one loved one in the family who is alleged to have killed another loved one -- it's an unfortunate situation."

Evans, Louke and Kathi Miller said they all knew and loved Tim Neuer and plan to attend Thursday's " for Neuer at 3 p.m. at Druid Hall in Santa Rosa.

"He was a unique person," Kathi Miller said. "Kind, generous and loving -- the first I met him, he hugged me -- and he was so in love with Mandy."

Evans said she also loved Neuer and has stayed close to the Neuer family through the tragedy.

"I'm friends with Tim's mother," Evans said. "I've known Judy [Neuer] all these years."

She said her son Jarrod Miller, 29, had a history of mental health problems that stemmed from a car accident at age 17. That was followed by the death of Evan's brother, with whom Jarrod Miller was very close.

"He had a breakdown the day of my brother's funeral," Barbi Evans said. "I saw his face at my brother's cremation ---I saw a kind of grey wash over his face."

She said she had tried to get her son help, but faced roadblocks in the healthcare system.

"That part of me is angry," Evans said of the obstacles. Evans said the tragedy was a "triple loss" because the lives of three of her loved ones were changed forever.

The fatal shooting took place north of Healdsburg that Mandy Miller and Tim Neuer had shared with Jarrod Miller until he moved out to Cloverdale several months ago.

According to police, Jarrod Miller returned to the house late on Tuesday, March 8. After a discussion, Neuer asked Miller to leave. Instead, he took out a small caliber handgun and shot Neuer multiple times, police said.

Jarrod Miller was arrested later that night near Windsor. Police said they do not have a motive for the shooting.

Evans, meanwhile, said she and the other family members will be there to support all of the children.

"I'm a fighter," Evans said, adding she hoped the tragedy might eventually lead to improvements in the healthcare system and possible changes to gun laws.

As to her daughter, Evans said she will stay close.

"Mandy is being strong now, but I expect that eventually there will be a crash," Evans said.

"Grief is a funny thing," Kathi Miller added. "There is no timeline."