In Home Senior Care Wishes You a Happy Holiday Season and Here's How

In Home Senior Care Wishes You a Happy Holiday Season and Here's How by Stan Lawson of Sequoia Senior Solutions

The holiday season is upon us. So I want to wish you Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays. That said I want to ask you to remember your favorite holiday memories. You will remember visiting with loved ones around the family table; singing favorite songs, carols or hymns; watching holiday movies together; playing games or catching up with people you don’t normally see. Great memories aren’t they.

But not all the holiday memories give you such joy. Trying to figure out who you are going to give gifts to and what, making sure you have some extras in case someone gives you something you weren’t expecting, rushing around on a buying spree or three. Arts and crafts shows are a must as is the mall with the hordes of people; lots of pushing, shoving or kids running into you; so much noise you develope a headache; that point in the mall where you can hear some carolers, the organist outside the piano store and the indoor year round carousel all at once; just where are your kids(?); should you get this or that; and so on. Yes, you get the picture. You lived this picture and will do it all this year if you haven’t already started.

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Now I want you to think about your loved one with dementia or its subgroup Alzheimer’s Disease.  You dearly love this person and want to include him or her in your holiday plans, but you need to do so with caution. Often people with dementia become fearful, agitated and confused by a lot of things. A lot of people can be a trigger, changes in the lighting, loud noise, the mall, blinking lights, overstimulation and the individual triggers you know that set your loved one off.

What exactly does your loved one feel?

Let’s hear from one the people who is in early onset Alzheimer’s, Kaye Fox in her article Embracing the Holiday Season with Alzheimer’s:

The loud noises, the ringing bells, the singing, twinkling lights and the crowds can make a person with Alzheimer’s feel all sorts of horrible, scary feelings. This stimulation has caused me to feel panic stricken, unable to move at times.

You see with dementia, things are always changing. I have good days that can last for weeks and then suddenly, I find myself in a life-squeezing terror because my partner dropped a dish and the noise triggers a panic. I freeze not knowing what to do. My heart seems as if it is going to burst out of my chest. And then it’s over. A degree of peace washes over me like water in a shower and everything is right again, but maybe only for a moment.  A child’s scream, a baby crying — those are triggers for me. I go into a stomach-griping fear, and it rises up and makes me want to scream.

Can’t you say that there have been times you felt the same way in the middle of the mall with just a few shopping days left and that number blaring from every store? So you can relate, up to a point. That’s all you need to do to in order to consider what kinds of things you and your loved one can realistically handle during this season. You don’t want your loved one to be left out of festivities, even if he or she is in a later stage of Alzheimer’s. So here are some ideas to make the season bright for your whole family.

You want to have family and friends over to your house

·         So send them an email explaining some of the things that might be different this year. Ask them to talk to their children about why grandfather might forget their names.

·         Give your loved one some time on a regular basis before the event to look at pictures of the coming visitors and talk about them. You might even have a phone call from the visitors so that both can get a little more comfortable about how grandmother is now.

·         Include your loved one to help with preparations such as chopping food, holding the tape to wrap presents, looking over the family album, setting the table. Everyone wants to feel necessary even if they can’t put it into words.

·         You could ask people to come to your house a few at designated times to keep the feeling of overwhelm your loved one might feel at bay.

·         Or if you have them all at once, you might want to have your loved one enthrowned in a small room that makes her feel safe and have a few people go visit at a time. Also this is a good safe place for your loved one to rest between visits or as you see he or she needs.

·         Caregivers need to take some time to avoid overwhelm as well. You might be invited to go to a party without your loved one. So go. If you haven’t started shopping early enough, consider letting your fingers do the walking (as the old Yellow Pages ads used to say) and buy online. You can even get them to send gifts for you.

The gifting problem

This issue came up in the Nevada Daily Mail article October 2013Holidays and Alzheimer’s:

Diminishing capacity may make some gifts unusable or even dangerous to a person with dementia. If someone asks for gift ideas, suggest items the person with dementia needs or can easily enjoy. Ideas include: an identification bracelet (available through MedicAlert® + Alzheimer's Association Safe Return®), comfortable clothing, audio tapes of favorite music, videos and photo albums.

If friends or family ask what you want for a gift, suggest a gift certificate or something that will help you take care of yourself as you care for your loved one. This could be a cleaning or household chore service, an offer to provide respite care, or something that provides you with a bit of rest and relaxation.

Caregivers need to rest as much as your loved one. I actually read a remark stating that you are a year older than last holiday season, so be realistic about what you can or can’t do. If you are realistic, you, your loved one, and your family will have a wonderful holiday season. And if you need a little temporary respite care to get things done, please call us at Sequoia Senior Solutions and we can give you the help you need.

For more great information, please come visit the blog at our Sequoia Senior Solutions website.